Oysteriopukosis!

That's not the "technical" term for what's going on right now, but it should give you the general idea. So here's the thing. I had an inkling I was going to be arriving around this time, so I finally had the last blowout bash this past Wednesday night. Seeing as it was the last hurrah for all my open house party attendees, I thought I better do it right. I got Paul O. to handle the music (thanks SO much Paul for being "somewhat" flexible!), I had door prizes sponsored by MAC cosmetics AND the new L.C. collection, and I called in a favor to Vern Yip to handle all of the interior decorating. That only left me with food.... Yes, food...

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Let me tell you, this was no "ruffle chip and french onion dip / chicken sticks / pizza bites" type of situ. I wanted to hook everyone up with some gourmet goodness, but wasn't sure where to turn. I called the usual suspects, Emeril, Gordon, and Mario, but they were all "busy". I was like, "MaddieP, what are you going to do?" Then, I had this super fantastic idea (or so I thought) to call the local culinary college and have them cater the affair. I know, OBVIOUSLY their caliber would not hold a candle to the chefs listed above, but I had blown most of the budget on cocktails, music, and decor, so I had kind of painted myself into a proverbial corner, if you will.

We met on Monday to discuss the menu, and I really only had one issue. It seems that one of these aspiring culinary geniuses thought that Oysters Rockefeller would be a wise, pass-around app. I calmly "explained" to this gentleman that the party was going to be in Denver, Colorado, and that finding oysters "on the cheap" out here might not be a reliable strategy. In fact, I was worried that it could create a gastrointestinal NIGHTMARE for my guests, and I surely didn't want to go out like that. Anyhoo, he insisted they would all be fresh, and that they would totally be a hit.

I squashed my skepticism and decided that it would be fine to leave them on the menu, but figured I'd stay away from them just incase considering my arrival was imminent. I avoided these little ocean gems for most of the evening, but kept hearing from everyone how "super fantastic" they were, and simply could not resist. BIG MISTAKE! One, only ONE, little rockefeller down the hatch, and now I have food poisoning! SO stupid! Hey, chef, if they are open BEFORE you cook them, THROW THEM OUT! You cut one little corner, gave me a dead oyster, and now you've delayed my arrival! Thanks a MILLION!

Don't worry, Dr. Oz gave me some antibiotics, and he says we're back on schedule. Although I think "schedule" is an awfully generous term considering we've been at this since 7am this morning. Stay tuned, I'll be here very soon :)

Later......