I Need 10 CCs of Section, STAT!

OK, I have finally settled in a little bit. We just recently moved from the super wonderful L&D room to our new "Mom & Baby" room. Apparently, according to the name of these strange new land, dad isn't allowed in. JK Dad! You are SO allowed! Anyway, now that we've all eaten and gotten some sleep, I'm ready to give dictation, and dad said he's ready to receive.

Before we get into all of the stories, photos, and video (yes, you read that right, VIDEO!) I have for you in this entry, I first should clarify a few things in regards to my "Oysteriopukosis" post. Mom did NOT have any oysters and I did NOT actually have food poisoning. I am SO sorry if I was misleading. I was honestly trying to be funny. I did have an infection before my arrival, but it had nothing to do with shellfish. I thought I would be facetious and make the whole thing sound WAY more interesting than it actually was (MY BAD!). Dad said some of the maddiepandfriends group members thought I was being 100% serious, so I apologize if I threw anyone off :(

The infection did, however, have a pretty significant impact on my method of arrival. The original plan was to come "au natural", and we all thought that would be the case for most of the day and night, but said infection caused my heart rate to go up pretty high during my mom's labor. Dr. Oz thought that a normal delivery would create too much extra strain on my heart (OUCH!) and recommended a C-Section instead. I figured, hey, works for me, my head will TOTALLY be round now! Suck it Amanda in Cleveland!!! Anyhoo, everything went like clockwork (honestly, would you expect anything else different from Dr. Oz?), and me and mom are both healthy and just FINE!

I was able to "convince" dad to take some pictures of the L&D room before my arrival that he was unable to obtain during our tour. The first picture I suggested he take was one of, yup, you totally guessed it, SPOTLIGHTS!! We even did a trial run with the lights to make sure the positioning and intensity was just so. Here is one of the lights:


SO COOL, right?! Also, you remember my concerns over the location and labeling of the baby warmer and blanket microwave? I was STILL so scared when we first got into the room because both devices were STILL in the same exact spots they were during the tour. Apparently, no one "in charge" at St. Joe's is a maddiepandfriends group member (SAD!). Otherwise, this problem would've been rectified long ago, obviously. Well, dad decided to make a sticky label for the microwave to put my mind at ease:


Big ups to dad for the most excellent labeling system! There is NO WAY any of the nurses could possibly get confused now! That leads me directly into the description of my next pic (SMOOTH TRANSITION!) which is one of me, my mom, and my new favorite St. Joe's nurse, Beth. She was with me and my mom for almost all of our labor (I like to say "arrival process" but mom just kept calling it labor. I only have control over so much.) and she ROCKED! Very patient, very calm, and very reassuring during the whole process. Mom and I talked about it, and we really don't think we would've made it without her!


The entire staff at St. Joe's was super awesome, so big ups to everyone in the L&D family! I'm going to close out this post with my first MUSIC VIDEO! Dad was able to get some footage of me while I was awake (SO difficult as I am SO into sleeping right now!). We then realized it would be so cool if we added my arrival music to the video. Great idea, RIGHT?! I decided that "Don't Stop Believing" had to be the winner. SURPRISE! Feel free to sing along while you watch. Also, if you get everyone around you singing too, BONUS!




Later.....

Hello WORLD!!!!

You guessed it, I'm finally here! TOTALLY AWESOME!

Dad said he's waaaaaaay to tired to take a lot of dictation right now, so we'll write more about my "arrival adventure" later on. I did, however, want to post some pics of, who else, ME, to show everyone. ENJOY!





FYI - Here are the stats for all your office pools ;)

Weight - 7lbs 13.5oz
Height - 20 inches
Official Time of Arrival - 2:50am
Official Date of Arrival - 3/29/08

Later.....

Oysteriopukosis!

That's not the "technical" term for what's going on right now, but it should give you the general idea. So here's the thing. I had an inkling I was going to be arriving around this time, so I finally had the last blowout bash this past Wednesday night. Seeing as it was the last hurrah for all my open house party attendees, I thought I better do it right. I got Paul O. to handle the music (thanks SO much Paul for being "somewhat" flexible!), I had door prizes sponsored by MAC cosmetics AND the new L.C. collection, and I called in a favor to Vern Yip to handle all of the interior decorating. That only left me with food.... Yes, food...

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Let me tell you, this was no "ruffle chip and french onion dip / chicken sticks / pizza bites" type of situ. I wanted to hook everyone up with some gourmet goodness, but wasn't sure where to turn. I called the usual suspects, Emeril, Gordon, and Mario, but they were all "busy". I was like, "MaddieP, what are you going to do?" Then, I had this super fantastic idea (or so I thought) to call the local culinary college and have them cater the affair. I know, OBVIOUSLY their caliber would not hold a candle to the chefs listed above, but I had blown most of the budget on cocktails, music, and decor, so I had kind of painted myself into a proverbial corner, if you will.

We met on Monday to discuss the menu, and I really only had one issue. It seems that one of these aspiring culinary geniuses thought that Oysters Rockefeller would be a wise, pass-around app. I calmly "explained" to this gentleman that the party was going to be in Denver, Colorado, and that finding oysters "on the cheap" out here might not be a reliable strategy. In fact, I was worried that it could create a gastrointestinal NIGHTMARE for my guests, and I surely didn't want to go out like that. Anyhoo, he insisted they would all be fresh, and that they would totally be a hit.

I squashed my skepticism and decided that it would be fine to leave them on the menu, but figured I'd stay away from them just incase considering my arrival was imminent. I avoided these little ocean gems for most of the evening, but kept hearing from everyone how "super fantastic" they were, and simply could not resist. BIG MISTAKE! One, only ONE, little rockefeller down the hatch, and now I have food poisoning! SO stupid! Hey, chef, if they are open BEFORE you cook them, THROW THEM OUT! You cut one little corner, gave me a dead oyster, and now you've delayed my arrival! Thanks a MILLION!

Don't worry, Dr. Oz gave me some antibiotics, and he says we're back on schedule. Although I think "schedule" is an awfully generous term considering we've been at this since 7am this morning. Stay tuned, I'll be here very soon :)

Later......

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner (EARLY!)?

(LIVE FROM ST. JOE'S HOSPITAL)

ME! I hope you're all sitting down because I have a big announcement to make. My arrival is going to be 3 DAYS EARLY! Big ups to Cedar for all the "encouragement" not to be fashionably late. I am having dad take TONS of photos. There will be pics of the aforementioned baby warmer AND blanket microwave, pics of the L&D (that's Labor & Delivery for all the newbies) room, and, most importantly, pictures of MaddieP! EXCITING!

Dad has already tested the spotlights and they are GOOD...TO...GO!!!!! Right now we're just chilling, making the final preps for my arrival. Aunt Karyn is here hanging out. Anyhoo, stay tuned for more news! Also, I will be suspending my "SO into and SO not" lists until after my arrival. There is SO much new stuff to be into and SO not, so I'm going to wait til I'm here. Plus, since most of this will be "live", that's just too many lists for me. I'm just a BABY!!!

Later.....

Get Your Braxton Hicks on Route 66

Yup, you guessed it! Still in here. STILL! I'm sure all my readers are familiar with the phrase "10 pounds of ish in a 5 pound bag" (ish is the polite, "persons of the younger persuasion" way of saying you-know-what). Well, let me just tell you, those sayings don't become cliches for nothing. O-M-G!! Someone let me out of here! You know how I wrote weeks ago about how crowded it was getting up in here? Multiply that by, like, 10 bazillion! "y'all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here..." Oh, forget it. I can't even muster the energy to sing! I told dad that I want O-U-T, A-S-A-P! He told me there wasn't much he could do (while simultaneously complimenting me on my spelling, thanks...), and that I'd just have to be patient. Well, I "explained" to him that patience is not one of my stronger virtues, especially considering I've been gnawing on my own kneecaps for, oh, say, 10 DAYS NOW!

Anyway, I'm pressing on. It's now a mailbag Monday. Yes, we've slipped from Friday.....to Sunday.......to Monday. I hope that you all understand the current situ and can allow me a little leeway during the final countdown. I lost my "A" game at some point this week. I think I left it somewhere near the cervix, but it's so FRICKING crammed in here now I'm lucky if I can find my own FRICKING thumb!!! See?? I don't even know if that made any sense?? Whatever! Let's get this "Pony Express" moving.

Q: MaddieP, three words for you, Oprah's Book Club. Love it, hate it, or SO over it? Stephanie - Bismarck, ND

A: Stephanie, I think you are my first mailer from North Dakota! Welcome! Is it still, like, super cold up there or what? I asked dad to check the forecast and he told me it was in the low 40s (BRRRR!). What do you do up there for fun? Do you even have a summer? Ooops! Sorry! Here I am asking YOU questions when I'm supposed to be answering your inquiry instead. My bad :(

I am going to have to go with "C" on this one. I just feel like I'm SO over her in general lately that I certainly don't think I'm interested in what she's reading! I just can't help it. Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely, lovely person, and I think she does super fantastic things for a lot of deserving people. I basically have just lost interest.

I mean, seriously, have you seen the latest book club selection? "A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose". I'll tell you what my "life's purpose" is right now, getting the heck out of Dodge! After that, I can't really say as I've put too much thought into it. Oh, before I forget, it's by some weirdo named Eckhart Tolle. He also wrote "The Power of Now" if that gives you any indication of where he's coming from. You know how they say "never judge a book by it's cover" (apologies in advance for the cliche ridden post, but I'm grasping at straws right now). Well, I'm a judging and I'm a not liking. I'm giving it two tiny thumbs down based on the front cover and summary alone!

I hope you read something not self-helpful soon Stephanie!

Q: MaddieP, have you read "The Secret"? What are your thoughts? Emily - Brooklyn, NY

A: "you know very well, who you are, don't let 'em hold you down, reach for the stars, you had a goal, but not that many, 'cause you're the only one, i'll give you good and plenty...." I'm SORRY, I just can't resist! Every time I see your name and location in the mailbag, I just drift off and think about back in the day, when I was like negative 5 months, just kicking it, and how it was SO different! It was a different time, a different vibe, you know, just a whole different feel. Now, stuff is just so crazy, it's all tight up in here, floating is just not an option, my moms and pops is all up on me wanting me to arrive. "have his mother singing it's so hard...."

Anyway Emily, let me tell you, do I have a "secret" for you! Better yet, I have a "secret" for all of my faithful maddiepandfriends group members. I call it, "MaddieP's secret to making, oh, let's round up to 2 million dollars, by creating spiritual life guides and books that promise the world if you just think about it their way". Are you excited, cause I know I sure am! All you do is generate a completely unprovable and off-the-wall thesis, in this case that my positive thoughts are magnets for attracting wealth, health, and happiness, convince a bunch of readers the ideas work by offering random "success stories", and then get Oprah to buy in too! Suddenly, you're selling 3 million plus on Amazon.com and laying the FRICK up in Hawaii. What an IDEA! I'd like the author of this waste of 10 million trees to meet some of my mom's patients and hear what life is really like. I've got news for you, they could be thinking about sugar plum fairies and cute little kittens with cute little mittens, and their lives would still be extremely difficult, and they would still be "not wealthy" and would still be "not so healthy".

Hey, Rhonda, right now I'm thinking super-positive thoughts about arriving, like, yesterday. Here, wait for it..... I'm thinking really really REALLY super-positively about bathing in SPOTLIGHTS, basking in the baby warmer (not the blanket microwave nurse), and getting some love and affection from the rents. Man, I'm thinking so super-positively right now my head might just EXPLODE! Wait for it...... Wait for it..... BAM, NOTHING! Still in here! Still using my ankle as a chin rest. Thanks Rhonda! Can I get my $8.95 back now please? Also, feel free to use me in your follow up gem, "The Secret Behind The Secret: Why The First Secret May Not Have Worked For You, But Why, If You Spend $20.00 More, This One Will Most Definitely, 100% Work For YOU!!"

I am thinking super-positive thoughts for you Emily, right now. Call me when that million dollar suitcase lands on your doorstep!

OK, I also apologize for the brevity of this mailbag. I know I only answered two letters, but the self-help stuff just put me right over the edge. Add that to the frustration I am already experiencing, and well, I'm tapped.

Stay tuned for arrival news. I promise promise promise everyone there will be live blogging at my arrival party (when I say "live" it could be like "live before a studio audience" live, or live like you're on a 3 hour time delay due to the West Coast feed, but live enough). You will all know almost right away that I'm here so don't you worry ;)

Later......

SO into:

• Flatbread Pizza
• Playpens
• Vintage Automobiles
• Snow Globes

SO not:

• Tossers
• Wankers
• TV Dinners
• Heidi's New Fashion Line (Can you say "Cheap Skank"????)

Georgia Peach-Pit Stop

Well HELLO! Happy Easter everyone! I totally meant to post this yesterday, but we had a bit of a "situation" around the household. Mom thought it might actually be time for my arrival since she was feeling kind of funny. Then, she thought it might not be time for my arrival since she felt normal. Then, she thought it might be time since she felt funny again. Then, she thought it might not be time once she felt normal again. We went back and forth like this for most of the afternoon on Friday, and most of the day on Saturday. Dad didn't know what to do. It was HILARIOUS! Anyhoo, I'm still blogging this morning so the obvious answer is that mom is just fine, for now. I'm just not sure if I'm quite ready yet. I'm all for being early, don't get me wrong. I'm just not necessarily all about being THIS early. Apologies for the indecision mom (CONFUSING!).

I wanted to post some photos and stories that I received from maddiepandfriends group member Claire Bear. You see, she just returned from her first family vacation and said it was SO cool! I absolutely cannot WAIT for my first family vacation. Dad is already planning it (he's such a planner) and told me we'll probably go to Florida, just like Claire Bear, for spring training next season. I just know I'll get tons of autographs! How can they possibly turn me down?! I'm just a BABY!

Claire Bear (I'm going to call you 'CB' for short now that everyone knows who you are, K?) went to Disney World, and also went to her Uncle Nick's wedding. I KNOW, I'm as jealous as all of you are! FRICKING Disney World! Totally awesome! Unfortunately, she wasn't able to ride many of the rides since she was "not this tall" (I had visions of her sitting on her mom's lap, Britney-style, cruising through Space Mountain), but CB did cop some serious SWAG. Here is a pic of her in her whip with a Minnie doll she scored in the Magic Kingdom:


Minnie should probably be buckled in as well (safety first!), but it is a really cute pic all the same :) BTW - Great smile CB! You convey just the right amount of excitement and joy! Very photogenic! From what she said, it sounded like her and her family just had a super great time on their vacation. Almost everything went off without a hitch, "almost" being the key word in that phrase. You see, they drove to Florida from Massachusetts (SO FAR!) and, unfortunately, had a little truck "trouble" on the return trip. While driving through Georgia, CB and her family suddenly heard a really funny noise, but weren't sure what it was. Her dad blamed it on the "roads" down there, but her mom was worried it was something more serious. After a bit of "discussion", they pulled over and realized that they had a FLAT TIRE (CURSES!)! Here is the pic CB sent in of her dad and the flat tire while they were parked in a Microtel parking lot:

Her dad might be smiling in the pic, but we don't think he was too happy about the overall situ. Apparently, he had a super tough time getting the old tire off of the truck, an activity that required much more effort than expected. LSS - CB's dad started making some of the same sounds and using some of the same words that MY dad made when he was assembling my totally cool boppies, so CB ended up spending some time at the local McDonald's with her mom while her dad finished the job. It seemed he really needed some "alone time" to concentrate, so CB and her mom thought moving to an alternate location would probably be best. CB and I laughed and laughed about how frustrated our dads get over these things!

Thanks for sharing the pics and the insider info Claire Bear! Someday when we're older and able to drive, maybe we can plan our own road trip and show our dads how it is done ;)

I think I'm going to take a break, then hit you up with the traditional MaddieP mailbag later today. "Two blogs in one day?!" you say? Yes, that is what I say! Unless of course mom starts to "feel funny" again, then it'll be up in the air. The mailbag will be very "reading/book heavy" this week since some maddiepandfriends group members have expressed concern over the strong focus on television from last week. Hey, I am forced to absorb a variety of media, my readers request, no demand, it!

Later......

SO into:

• Strawberry Tarts
• The White Album
• Sunglasses
• Exercise Balls

SO not:

• Televangelists
• Burnt Sienna
• Drooling
• Sweatpants

It's a JUNGLE in here!

Well, it is finally complete. After many dedicated hours, loads of encouragement by me, and totally super contributions from a variety of friends and family, my nursery is complete (INCREDIBLE!). It is really the piece de resistance, if you will, of all nurseries across this great land. I wanted to share a few more photos with all of the maddiepandfriends because YOU made it happen. I am SO appreciative, and am SO hoping that many of you will be able to come to see me, and hang in my crib with me for a while. BTW - I have submitted these photos to MTV in hopes that they might decide to film a "Cribs" out here in Denver. The "Hollywood infants" might get more pub and covers, but I guarantee you their nurseries have nothing on mine. Keep your fingers CROSSED!!

I would like to take the time to give a special, Casey Kasem style, long-distance dedication to Grandma and Grandpa Olson for the items featured in the following pics. They are responsible for the jungle-themed comforter, bedding, and super cool bumper. Don't you just LOVE the monkey? I sure do!


I was able to continue the jungle theme throughout the room because Grandma Olson also painted me some animal art for the walls. And you all thought I was ONLY going to have a jungle crib! You were SO wrong (SILLY!) :) Also, I should mention that all of this art is hand-painted (no stencils, Dad. JK, you know I still love my surfing monkeys. Easy.....) making it that much more excellent!

Totally awesome, RIGHT?! Suck it Picasso! Anyhoo, here is my La-Z-Boy recliner (it's not really a LaZBoy, mom is not a fan of those! Don't ask me why....) where I'll be able to lounge while I eat and/or sleep with mom or dad. I can't wait to kick my feet up, lay back, and bump some Tribe out of my stereo and just soak it all in (RELAXING!). "I float like gravity, never had a cavity Got more rhymes than the Winans got family..." I especially like that particular verse because I am SO against cavities, and I don't even have any teeth yet! Remember to brush and floss twice a day everyone. I want all the maddiepandfriends to have super clean smiles just like me! I was SO not into floss for a while, but dad explained that I might want to reconsider if I'm going to "make it big" someday. OMG, here I go on a tangent again! I totally forgot to post the pic. My bad :(



This chair looks really inviting doesn't it? I might just sit there all day if I'm so inclined. Inclined to recline if you will, and I WILL! FWIW - Dad is still struggling to figure out all of the features on our new camera, so I apologize in advance if the pics are not perfectly in focus. I was like, "Dad, it's just 'point and shoot', don't make it SO complicated!". It's not a big deal now, but can you IMAGINE if my cute little face is out of focus when he takes photos of my arrival?! Not good! Believe it or not, I still have a lot of faith in him, and am sure he'll figure it out by then (HURRY!).

Oh, one final pic, and this one is of my nightstand along with a few other notable items. The nightstand has a super neat jungle animal lamp, my stereo, and another painting that Grandma Olson did. There is also a picture frame by the lamp, but that frame is currently holding a picture of a fake baby, so look away! I will replace that stupid fake baby soon enough!

On the right of the nightstand, you can see my Curious George night-light. My nights of sleeping will be SO not scary thanks to Mr. George! On the left is a animal stacking tower of some sort. I'm supposed to dump them all off the support stand, then restack them in order (CHALLENGING!) Dad said it will totally help with my brain development which is extremely important.

OK, that's all for today. The fam has a three day weekend, so dad totally has more time to take dictation! Isn't that awesome?! Plus, he's still feeling a ton of remorse for blowing me off last weekend, so I really have his "attention" now :) Tomorrow I will be discussing my trip to Dazzle, and I will also share some stories that Claire Bear shared with me about her trip back from Florida. They are wicked funny so stay tuned!

Later.......

SO into:

• Dental Hygiene
• TPIR
• Cheetos
• Motorcycles (JK mom)

SO not:

• Uggs
• Mean Dogs
• Auto Insurance Commercials that AREN'T Geico
• Powerball (We didn't win, SAD!)

Mo' Mail, Mo' Problems.....

I know, the "Friday mailbag" is rapidly turning into the "Weekend/Sunday mailbag" and I am sure that you are all very disappointed. I am willing to take responsibility for last week's delay because I was all OVER the place mentally! This week, however, is an entirely different story. I was hyped, no, stoked, no, super excited on Friday morning to answer all of your wonderful letters. Unfortunately, dad had other plans. In his defense (ONLY PARTIAL!), all of his friends from work threw him and mom a shower, so there definitely was no time then.

BTW - I got some more totally awesome stuff at this soiree! I received some excellent clothes (can you say "Calvin Klein", "Ralph Lauren", AND "Winnie the Pooh"? Yes please!), some super fantastic hand-made quilts (INCREDIBLE EFFORT!), and I even got a violet softball glove (I know, "violet", SO FITTING!) with a gym bag to match. I think it'll really help me snag foul balls at Fenway Park. Get ready Pops! Also, I'd like to holler at Nancy, Rae Anne, and Mary for making it all happen. You ladies are wonderful, can't wait to see you all on the outside :)

OK, so obviously the party is a valid reason for not mailbagging Friday morning. The remainder of the delays between Friday afternoon and this morning, uh, not so much.... When dad fired up the computer on Saturday I thought it was finally time. I had already selected the letters I was going to answer, so I was ready to rock! He quickly shot me down though while explaining that he had some serious preparations to do for his fantasy baseball (LAME!) draft on Sunday, and did not have time to take dictation at the moment. A few hours and a bunch of beers later, and he was completely USELESS! Mom warned me about this, but I guess I just didn't believe her. Fantasy sports are already interfering with our "relationship", and I haven't even arrived yet! I don't know all the inner workings of this fantasy sports situ, but I have a "feeling" this might be dad's last year in the league, if you catch my drift.

Regardless, we are now both ready (FINALLY!) to do some serious blogging, and I have been SO anxious I almost can't stand it! Are you as anxious as I am?! SUPER! Let's dive in:

Q: MaddieP, what's your take on "America's Next Top Model"? Emily - Brooklyn, NY

A: "Throw your hands in the air if you's a true playa'!" Emily, first off, big ups to Brooklyn! I haven't visited many of the other boroughs (two tiny thumbs DOWN for Queens and the Bronx just from what I've heard), but I think Biggie totally had it right when he stated that your's is SO the most thorough! I can't wait to come see it again. I think it will look especially awesome when viewed from the MaddiePMobile.

Now to get to answering your question. You know how I can go on and on, so I must remain focused. I am sorry to report that dad has not let me watch ANTM in its entirety yet, so it is very difficult for me to give you my official take (FRUSTRATING!). He said that we already have enough shows to watch, and that too much TV is not good for people my age. However, I "asked" mom to put the first season in our Netflix Queue, post-arrival, so I think I will be able to give you TONS more input in April about all the ANTM ladies!

I will say that I have seen enough bits and pieces to know that Tyra Banks is the host, (that's Tyra Banks fool!) so I do have some "comments" about her. Most of the time, I'll just look at her, shake my head, and think to myself "Well, I guess you can't fix crazy". That pretty much summarizes EVERYTHING she says or does on that show, or in her life for that matter. My favorite thing about Tyra, and I mean my FAVORITE thing, is the fact that she was able to become a model despite the fact that her head is gigantic! As a regular reader Emily, you know how concerned I am about the size of my melon, so whenever I get too overwhelmed with fear, I just think of Tyra (COMFORTING!). I mean, really! You could SO watch a movie on her forehead, and we're talking wide-screen, not the traditional 4:3 ratio. Three words of advice for you Tyra, KEEP THE BANGS! If those ever go out of style I think you'll go out of style with them. We call that "going down with the ship", if you will. I guess that is a bit mean, but let's be honest here, she is not exactly a super terrific person, so I have a really hard time feeling too bad :(

Hope to vogue with you soon Emily!

Q: MaddieP, who is your favorite SNL character? Claire Bear - South Grafton, MA

A: Hi Claire Bear, I love your name! I know Stephen Colbert keeps saying that bears are the number one threat to America, but you don't sound threatening at ALL! Anyhoo, I am slightly confused as to whether you are asking about my favorite character in a particular skit, or if you want to know who my favorite SNL cast member is. Don't worry Claire Bear, I won't leave you hanging. I'm going to answer BOTH! I am simply THAT intrigued by your question (AWESOME)!

My favorite character from a sketch is actually a tie between Brian Fellows and Robert Goulet (GOULET!). I just LOVE how Brian Fellows talks to all of the animals, and also how frustrated he gets with all of his guests. Sometimes I even imagine myself hosting, and just blurting out "I'm Madelyn Poppish!" over and over. SO funny, I KNOW! I especially enjoyed the time he thought that talking parrot stole his credit card and was ordering stuff on QVC. "That bird is not my doppelganger!"... O-M-G, TOO much! I'm Madelyn Poppish! See, it is SO hilarious!

Robert Goulet came in tied because of the "Coconut Bangers Ball (It's a WRAP!)" sketch. That one had me doing somersaults in here, let me tell you. "who let those dogs out? who let those dogs out? who let those little mutts GOOOOOO?!!!" I think I actually gave myself the hiccups once I was laughing so hard. I just cannot get over those pipes and the way Goulet croons. Plus, my uncle Scott does a super fantastic impression of Will Ferrell doing an impression of Robert Goulet. We've watched that skit so many times I honestly cannot keep track on my tiny fingers. It just doesn't get old.

My favorite cast member, surprise, is Will Ferrell. I think I have viewed his "Best Of" shows on DVD at least 6 or 7 times, and they still make me laugh. I love him as a Spartan Cheerleader, I love him as U.S. Flag-Thong Guy, I love him as Cowbell Player for BOC.... You get the idea ;) I especially liked the "giant baby" skit (even though it was gross, I know) because I felt like we really connected on that one. He was able to put into words, like I try to do in my blog, exactly what all us fetii are thinking even though we cannot talk. I'm actually getting a little misty-eyed just thinking about it. I think I just had a "moment". Sorry about that. I know it was supposed to be funny, but it was more than funny. That's what makes him so great!

I'll try to catch it "live" with you in the future Claire Bear!

Q: I have heard that your mom cannot even stand to be in the same room when American Idol is on. How are you able to develop such a detailed insight into the show considering your current location? Leto - Thornton, CO

A: Leto, Leto, Leto.... You have exposed a deep, dark, family secret, that I was hoping to avoid addressing in this blog..... Yes, it is true..... My mom, does in fact, DESPISE American Idol :( I can hear the gasps now from all of the avid maddiepandfriends members as I am sure you are all in complete shock. Never fear faithful readers, the situation is not nearly as dire as this revelation would lead you to believe.

Honestly, Leto, the present situ is really a tiny hurdle in the overall scheme of things since dad devised a plan before the season even began to deal with this, shall we say, " minor inconvenience". I am now going to layout this genius plan (AGAIN, SURPRISING!) that dad created so that I would not be denied the enjoyment that IS watching AI and constantly judging people. Mom is an avid reader of the blog, so I really hope this "confession" does not put my future enjoyment of the show into terrible jeopardy.

As you know, the show airs on Tuesday nights. However, mom actually gets home before the show even starts making same-night viewing totally impossible. Therefore, the whole plan springs into action the next day, Wednesday,. Well, this just so happens to fall on the same day that mom works the second of three 12-hour shifts for the week. Dad arrives home at least 3 hours earlier than mom, and is usually able to watch the entire show before she gets through the door. Until now, she has been entirely unaware that dad copies the show from the TIVO directly to his computer, and then from his computer to my IPod. So COOL! All of this before he even makes dinner (AMAZING!). We'll call this part of the plan "Phase 1 - AI Reconnaissance".

Then, what do you suppose mom's condition is when she finally walks through said door you may ask? SO tired! Bring on "Phase 2 - AI Investigation and Playback". We all have dinner and then she is basically ready to hit the sack. Unfortunately, it usually takes her about 2 hours to actually fall asleep (UNCOMFORTABLE!) after laying down, so dad is forced to set his "mental alarm clock" for 2300 hours. Are you still with me Leto? He wakes up, gives my foot a little nudge to let me know its "time", and then puts the headphone speakers up to my tiny ear so I can listen to the entire show! Immediately after the last performance, he then whispers a quick description of each performer so I can "put a face to the voice" (it helps for judging purposes) and make my decisions. The whole process runs like a well-oiled machine, let me tell you! One quick, tiny high-five, and then it's back to slumber land for dad, and back to the open-house party for me. No one even knows I've been gone!

The next morning, before he leaves for work, we execute the final part of the plan "Phase 3 - AI Evaluation and Judgment". I give him my opinions, and then he types them all into the blog at work before his 0900 break! PERFECT!

Leto, I know you are probably floored to think that dad and I would put this much effort into something so seemingly unimportant as a reality music show. I'm not going to lie, our AI fandom knows no bounds! It is what it is, and that's all I can say......

I am anxious to judge some people with you Leto!

Alright, dad is tapping on the womb and giving me the "wrap it up" signal. Apparently, his fantasy nerd draft is starting soon, so I am forced to sign off here. Look forward to more blogging this coming week. To whet your whistle, I'll tell you now that we have stories about Claire Bear's trip to Florida (with pics, yea!), "tales from Dazzle - the restaurant", and another jam-packed (ALREADY?! CRAZY!) mailbag. Hope you all had a totally fantastic weekend!

Later......


SO into:

• Starburst Fruit Chews
• Brooklyn (But not the Yankees! Nice try.)
• Bathrobes
• Flirtinis

SO not:

• Fantasy Sports
• Cracking Knuckles
• Folding Chairs
• Bracketology

Gettin' My Stroll On

Word. But before I even start explaining how I'm going to roll after my arrival, I wanted to see if all you maddiepandfriends noticed my super cool new feature that I added to my blog. To the left, you should now see a countdown clock titled "The Final Countdown" enabling all of you to see exactly how much time is left (to the second! AWESOME!) before my official arrival date is upon us. It's like New Year's in March. Please note, this is Dr. Oz's hand-picked, totally reliable, best estimate for when I will be here, so I am hoping the clock proves to be accurate. I apologize to all of my readers in advance if I come before that day and you don't get the chance to countdown the final seconds together (SAD!).

FWIW - Dad really struggled with the formatting and color of the countdown clock. He tried (or so he told ME) to get it to match the rest of the layout of my blog. He kept telling me he did his best, so I had to believe him. Plus, I have been super frustrated with him recently, and thought it might be a good idea to take it easy on him in regards to this issue. After all, he takes all of my dictation and does all of the typing. (Don't worry, once my color recognition is in full effect, I'll reevaluate the entire format of the complete blog. If you're not a big fan, just be patient, K?)

Anyhoo, back to my original reason for posting today. I received a totally nifty present in the mail from my friend Cedar the other day. I thought, "another present, for ME?! You do TOO much!", wondering what it could be. This a great pic of what it was:



Know what it is? It's a Wisconsin license plate with MY name on it! M-A-D-E-L-Y-N. Dad decided to spell my name differently than "normal", so Cedar had to make it by hand (SUPER EFFORT!). You can't tell from the picture, but the plate is actually kid-sized. Dad said it would be great for my bicycle when I was 5 or 6 and learning how to ride. "5 OR 6???!!!" I asked. "I cannot possibly wait that long to use this totally, extra, super-duper awesome license plate!!!" I almost passed out I was SO worked up! Once he talked me down, dad explained that I might be able to attach it to my stroller so that everyone would know it was me. Fantastic idea (SURPRISING!)!

Now I just have to figure out what stroller to attach it to and how it should look. I am thinking that the jogging stroller will be better since it also has speakers for my IPod. I am also thinking that I might have dad wrap a light rope around the border to really grab the attention of all passersby (HELLO!). It really has potential to be the COOLEST! Dad didn't necessarily think it would be smart to draw too much attention to the license plate since it was "out-of-state" and "unregistered". He thought the local federalies might try to shake me down for not rolling with Colorado tags. "They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin', tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty..." Oh, sorry about that! Again with the singing, I know! I told dad not to worry, and that I will be so FRICKIN cute that there's no way I'm getting pinched. Plus, I'm just a baby (INNOCENT!). I am hoping to travel a lot once I get everything configured, so keep an eye out in your neighborhood for the MaddiePMobile ;)

I would love to use it legally in the actual state of Wisconsin someday, so hopefully my parents will take me there at some point. It's literally the land of CHEESE! Need I say more? Anyway, even though she lives in Minnesota, I just know Cedar will take me for a tour of all her favorite "hot spots" in the great state of Wisconsin. Til then, I'll just have to represent for the entire state while I'm out here in Colorado.

Cool beans, huh?! That's about all I have for today. Oh, I almost forgot. My weekend WAS most excellent, thanks for asking! As I always say, I hope your weekend was crazy fun too! It's late for the well wishes, I know, but I hate to miss a week without making sure all the maddiepandfriends are having as good of a time as I am :) Later......


SO into:

• Tricycles
• March Madness (sorry mom)
• Sonnets
• Disco Balls

SO not:

• Bullhorns
• Boundaries
• Clowns
• Mark Ronson (WHAT-EVER Suri. O-M-G, SUCH a biter!!!!)

Can't You Hear Me Knocking???

Before I even start, I wanted to issue a sincere apology for the "mailbag delay" that we've all experienced this week. I was busy tying up all of my loose ends around here since my arrival is right around the corner (SWEET!). On top of that, I am not going to lie to you, I was really not in a blogging sort of mood. I was still SO distraught over my current lack of space that I just wasn't sure I could go on. I tried to do some self-improvement projects in here to create some room, but they proved unsuccessful. I even told dad to watch a few episodes of "Small Space, Big Style" on HGTV (don't you just LOVE that channel?) to look for ideas. However, everything he suggested involved "rearranging furniture", "working with new wall colors", "or adding mirrors to make the space feel larger" and I was like, "FURNITURE?", "WALL COLORS", "MIRRORS", "where do you think I am exactly?!" This whole father-daughter "project" ended up a lot like the "hiccup experiment" a little while ago with similar results. NOT GOOD! Thanks, but no thanks, back to the FRICKING drawing board!

After more "discussion" between dad and I, I decided to simply take matters into my own hands. After all, he may know a lot, but I have WAY more experience "in utero" than he does! First, I used my feet and pushed super hard on mom's stomach, almost to the point where I thought my little toes might just pop out! I kept doing this over and over and over and over, PRAYING that the shape would hold form. I wanted to scream out "HOLD THE LINE!" like Russell Crowe in "Gladiator", but remembered I was only an army of one, so it really wouldn't have made much sense. I made some serious headway I thought, but soon realized the additional gap created by my efforts was only temporary, and almost instantaneously, ended up back at square one.

Next I thought a possible "rearrangement of self", if you will, would do the trick (BTW - Dad, this would've been a much more constructive suggestion than rearrangement of furniture). I figured that if I used my hands and feet at the same time, applying similar "swim and float" techniques to those I had utilized when residing in my former "lap of luxury", I could possibly change positions. LSS - This did not work EITHER! I ended up getting one foot caught in a seriously uncomfortable position (OUCH!) and spent the rest of the day just trying to get it back to where it was at the beginning. My advice to all fetii in a similar situ to mine, STAY PUT! I want to save you the all of the physical effort and mental anguish I experienced. It is SO not worth it! Save your energy for your arrival where it can be put to much better use. Trust me fetii, I would not lie to you :)

So here I am, living in the same 3.5 square foot studio I started in. My arrival could not come soon enough! However, perseverance is absolutely necessary, I owe all the maddiepandfriends readers at least that much. Plus, how awful of a person would I be if I dished out advice about the 3Ps to Brian in Boston, but then failed to follow it myself (AWFUL!)??? So here is the mailbag for this week. I think you will quickly recognize the "musical theme" if you hadn't already caught the little nugget I dropped in the blog post title ;) Enjoy!

Q: MaddieP, quick, "Top 5 Musical Songs to Arrive To"? John C. - Hollywood, CA

A: Hi John! Let me see, narrowing it down to 5 is going to be really tough. I like so many different songs by so many different artists, and I just don't want any of them to feel slighted or left out. However, I have thought about this very issue long and hard lately (as you know, I am STILL trying to pick my actual arrival song and STILL haven't decided) so I will tell you what I've narrowed it down to so far. Also, I should say in advance, that these are in no particular order (i.e. #1 is my fave, #5 no so much). Therefore, if you have a suggestion or a pick, don't let my list order sway your opinions.

1. "Hold On, I'm Comin'!" - Sam and Dave
The title really says it all, does it not? Plus, I love the soul vibe of this tune. It just makes me want to dance, and I think the horns are top notch. Very promising....

2. "Don't Stop Believing" - Journey
I think that arriving to one of the greatest rock voices of any generation would be a great way to start my life on the outside. Plus, if I tried really hard, I think I could get the entire hospital staff, doctors, nurses, medical assistants, janitors, to chime in with me. Like, it would start kind of quiet and slow with just me, "Just a small town girl, living in a LONELY world, she took the midnight train goin an-ny-where.", and then mom and dad would join in, "Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit, he took the midnight train goin an-ny-where.", then the drums kick in and the staff hears us and can't contain themselves because you can't NOT sing Journey (just ask Aunt Karyn), and before you know it, all of St. Joe's is rocking, "A SINGER IN A SMOKEY ROOM, A SMELL OF WINE AND CHEAP PER-FUME, FOR A SMILE THEY CAN SHARE THE NIGHT, IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON!!" You get the idea....

3. "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" - Michael Jackson
I know, I know, you're thinking, "MaddieP, I don't think you want MJ to 'take you there' or anywhere for that matter". Look, I don't LOVE the guy either, but you can't knock his old stuff or his talent. This song has abbreviations, which I love, and feel also keeps the song current for the texting generation. I need tender loving care, so the lyrics are apropos. And, much like Sam and Dave, Michael makes me want to dance which would work really well with the SPOTLIGHTS! (you didn't forget about those, did you?)

4. "Baby-Baby-Baby" - TLC
Again, fairly obvious title. However, this is the first "slow jam" I've selected, just incase I'm not in a super high-energy mood when I arrive. I have heard the whole experience is quite draining, and I am thinking, after my first cry, that I might just want to kick back and chill for a bit. This is one of my favorite old school tunes, and I am SO Oooooh!On the TLC Tip, if you know what I mean. Also, I didn't forget, I'll make sure to pour out a little formula for Lisa while this song is bumping. They took you too soon (SAD!)...

5. "My Name is Jonas" - Weezer
I know, nothing to do with babies, arrivals, labor and delivery, etc., so WHY?! I selected this one more for sentimental value since mom and I used to play it all the time on GH3 (that's Guitar Hero III for the newbies). I will never forget all of the "encouragement" I provided, and how much value I added by trying to strum with my little foot. I find a lot of joy and comfort in this song, and I am not positive, but joy and comfort could be exactly what I'm looking for post-arrival. Plus, as you all know, I am SO into Weezer!

Keep formulating those "Top 5" lists John!

Q: What do you think you're first concert will be and why? Samantha - Santa Fe, NM

A: That is a terrific question Samantha! I have already spoken with dad and told him I'd really like to attend a concert at Red Rocks this summer. He thought that sounded like an awesome plan, but the full calendar still hasn't been released. Therefore, I believe the artist is TBD. I think that my first concert will be "venue-specific" rather than artist specific. After all, you know I'm SO into so many different artists that really any group or person would do! I wish I could say I was that open about venues, but I'm not. The location has to be open and airy, so something outdoors is really my only option right now. My little lungs absolutely CANNOT be exposed to smoke of any kind (what if I want to be a marathon runner or singer when I grow up?), and my little ears CANNOT be exposed to excessive noise. My 80 decibel womb is one thing, 130 decibel woofers entirely another (TOO LOUD!).

The artist list so far includes The Police (Sting, FUN!), Big Head Todd & The Monsters (SCARY!), Foo Fighters (FOO?), and Jack Johnson (Surfing, FUN!). Dad is hoping that Tom Petty comes out again because he thinks that might be "tame" enough for my first show. We need just the right mix of older people and younger people so that we still feel cool and hip, but won't be involved in a potential riot. I am not a fan of riots (DANGEROUS!).

Hope to see you at a concert soon Samantha!

Q: OK, MaddieP, we are down to the Final 12. Please, please, give us your pick for our next American Idol. Jeni - Olive Branch, MS

A: Jeni, I admire your "pleasant" persistence! That is one of my 3Ps, how COOL?! Alright, I have climbed down off of my fence and am ready to pick. I was going to take the easy way out and give you 1 guy and 1 girl without picking an actual winner, but you've all waited long enough so I just thought that would be mean (SO COLD!). I actually am going to tell you who will win by explaining why everyone else WON'T win. Cool, right?! I hope you're sitting down for this Jeni ;)

Amanda - "One trick pony" if you know what I mean. Love the voice, love her uniqueness, but I think the wheels fall off when we get into some more "vocally challenging" material.

Brooke - Like Amanda, just doesn't have the chops to hang with the better voices. I really enjoyed her "Love is a Battlefield" performance last week, but I just don't think her range is where it needs to be. Also, don't you find her slightly funny looking? I'm just saying....

Carly - Let me just tell you, this isn't her first rodeo. Um, hi Carly, this is MCA calling, we want our $2 million back! I think she can sing, but Simon is a smart business man. If she only sold 378 albums on her first go-round, she's not going to do much with the curtain call. He'll start breaking her down in about two weeks, mark it down!

Chikezie - Look Chikezie, I don't care if you CAN keep my "arm so breezy", you aren't winning this thing. Call Ruben S., ask him "What happened?", apply same story to you.

David A. - Don't get it twisted, by far, THE best singer in the competition. I just don't know if America is ready for a Mormon American Idol. What's next, "Wives Swap"???

David C. - Loved, loved, LOVED "Hello" last week. So much so, I almost (almost being the key word) had dad buy it on ITunes. However, Chris Daughtry already did the AI rock thing, and I think it's too soon for another. Plus, can you imagine a band named "Cook"? Me either....

David H. - Rounding out the "guys named David", we have this guy. OK singer, good looking, but too many skeletons in the closet. They haven't taken you down yet David, but they will. Oh yes, they will. They always do.

Jason - Unless he starts singing Reggae and smoking joints on stage, there is no way he makes it to the final 4. Those dreads are heinous! I don't know if you know this, but are you aware that he doesn't wash his hair? Sorry Jason, but that's just gross!

Kristy - Won't win, but could end up being a country star someday. Not enough range, not enough of the "human interest" element. Sorry. (If you read that with Simon's accent, it is WAY more effective).

Ramiele - Excellent voice for such a small girl! I really like her, but I think she's due for an "off" week. Just one of those and you're gone. Ask Danny.

Syesha - Should win, but could lose only because it is like Jordin Sparks all over again. If it is one thing we've learned over the years, we don't usually get a similar American Idol back-to-back. America wants, no demands, something new each time, and she might simply be a victim of circumstance.

Notice anyone missing? Of course you do! And that's my winner, Michael Johns. He is extremely consistent, has the looks, has the pipes, and should go all the way. We haven't had a strong male winner yet, but I think he is going to be the first. Clay Gaiken and Ruben Duddard don't count because neither of them had the whole package. This guy does! That's my pick. I could be wrong, but that's who I'm sticking with.

Make sure to vote Jeni!

PHEW, that was a long posting today! This is what happens when I take a few days off. I have SO much to say that it just builds and builds until I explode into a 20 paragraph diatribe! Have a great week everyone! I'll see you soon :)

SO into:

• Voting
• Shells
• Vacuums
• Daylight Savings Time

SO not:

• Dog Hair
• Remodeling
• Preseason
• Fumes

Et tu, Uterus????

Yup, you guessed it! It's all asses and elbows in here now! I am having SO much trouble moving around now that I am really starting to get frustrated. A month ago, I could float all around (FUN!), visit new places, chill in different positions, and essentially maximize my overall enjoyment of this development process. Tired of facing in one direction? Let me just roll over with ease. Bored with this area of the womb? One little kick and I was floating into unchartered waters, not knowing what adventures might await (SUSPENSEFUL!). I was footloose and fancy free, and let me tell you, I LIKED it that way!

Now, it is just SO crowded in here! The only saving grace in this whole situ is now I can make mom do multiple "funny" things at once since I can touch a variety of "hot spots" simultaneously. Unfortunately, the novelty of this is even starting to wear thin (SIGH!).

I thought my uterus and I had an agreement. You know, you grow, I grow. We had the perfect relationship, so why go changing? Well, apparently, my uterus had other ideas. One day it just looked at me as if to say, "Madelyn, this is the end of the road for me. I've grown as much as I can and I don't have much left in the tank to get any bigger." No problem I thought. I just figured I'd do the same, stay small, and float around until it was time for my arrival. I quickly realized, however, that was not the plan as I kept increasing in size while being stuck with the same amount of space. I could not grasp why my uterus would not cooperate and give a little. We had an understanding, right? It remained firm in its stance of maximum size while I was left to deal with the consequences of that decision. Thanks! The more I thought about it, the more angry I got. Then, I was suddenly awash with a sense of betrayal. I felt like Caesar when he discovered Brutus led the assassination plot, and just looked at him as he was dying to say, "WHY?!" Why?! We were having so much fun, and my uterus just had to go and ruin it.

O-M-G! I feel like one of those characters in the horror movies, trapped between the two spiky walls as they slowly creep closer and closer, while the person is rendered helpless, stuck waiting for an inevitable death while they think to themselves "What have I done with my life?!" (MORBID!). OH, don't worry, I'm not actually going to meet my demise in here! I hope I didn't scare you. Sometimes I get SO carried away with all of my hyperbole and crazy analogies! Oops.

I just had no idea it would get so cramped in here. I am thinking I should have dad call David Blaine and tell him I'm available for shows. I could easily contort myself into an extremely small shape (God knows, I have the practice!). Then, he could put me in a "magical box" and make me disappear, or do whatever tricks magicians do (SURPRISING!). David, if you're reading, give my dad a call and we'll set something up. I'm not looking "long-term", but could work a few shows a week for at least another month. At least then I could make the most of my plight. You know, use lemons to make lemonade if you will? That sort of thing…..

Anyhoo, I am really doing fine otherwise. I am seriously staring to reconsider my "fashionably late" stance though because I don't know how much longer I can stand this. As you read my blog I am heavily weighing my options, and have even entertained the idea of arriving early. Shocking, I KNOW! I am just not sure how much more knee nibbling I can take. Stay tuned!

Later…..

SO into:

• Dreaming
• Sunflowers
• Olympic Curling
• Colored Shoelaces

SO not:

• Black Ice
• Rowboats
• Mullets
• Bad Breath

Boppy Seconds...

It's 1pm on a Monday, do you know where your fetus is?? I'm where I always am around this time, sitting with dad by the PC, getting ready to tell you all about yet another wonderful weekend. I had SO much fun, thanks for asking! Your curiosity is appreciated AND noted :) I have some super cool things to tell you from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so I think I'll break this blog down into three different sections (SO logical, I know!) and do a little "weekend recap" if you will.

Friday : Friday is movie night with Aunt Karyn, so we got a bunch of pizza and junk food (YUM!) and rented a video. As all the maddiepandfriends know, I am SO into German films lately, but it seems that we have run out of German films to watch. MACH! And by "MACH" I mean, "Why can't the stupid Germans make any more interesting movies for our viewing pleasure?". Stupid Germans. I don't think you really want to end up on my "SO not" list... Since I can't see any outside things yet, and can't necessarily hear the TV, you may wonder why it matters. My answer to you would be, it just does OK! MACH! Regardless, we had a totally awesome time, and I'm not going to lie, I think I am starting to develop a thing for Swedish Fish.

One other super cool thing I realized on Friday was that I could make mom do really funny things depending on what part of the womb I floated to (NEAT!). For example, if I float to one area, I can make her lose all of the feeling in both hands. OMG, it's hilarious! She can barely pick up her water bottle, and even when she does that successfully, she still has a hard time holding onto it. It makes me LOL all day. Then, if I get tired of that spot, I can move to another location and make her have to pee over and over and over and over again. I get a ton of enjoyment out of this because I like swooshing almost as much as a I like floating. Additional trips to the bathroom = tons more swooshing (COOL!). Aren't you jealous of all this fun I'm having? Mom has said I'm starting to wear out my welcome, but I can sense the sarcasm in her tone, so I know she's having just as much fun as me. You're welcome!

Saturday : Well, I don't want to brag, but it was 70 degrees here on Saturday. 70 FRICKING degrees! I enjoyed the weather immensely, but I still felt really bad for all of the maddiepandfriends members living in New England because they have SO much snow there :( All the more reason to come see me I say! Since it was such a nice day, we decided to go to La Loma for dinner so that we could sit outside. Also, I wanted to work on my Spanish (I am such an overachiever) so I figured a Mexican restaurant would be the perfect spot. However, even though it was really warm, perfect for dining "al fresco", the restaurant was not seating outside (BUMMER!).

I know, this story is sounding really boring and you're probably like, "MaddieP, we ALL go out to dinner on Saturday, why was YOUR dinner so special?". Well, let me tell you, this is where the "fun" started. When we got seated, mom and I took the booth seat, and dad sat across in a chair. As we dove into the chips and refried beans and began our usual dinner convo, we started to feel a little weird. No, it wasn't the food, and it had nothing to do with dad's margarita. Something just wasn't right. We quickly glanced around the room and finally figured out what it was. Are you in suspense yet? Super. The thing was, we were seated RIGHT beside two "starers"! I mean, these people were not even trying to be discrete. It was so weird, they didn't even try to feign their own conversation, or casually "eavesdrop". They might as well have been sitting at the same FRICKING table as us! They just sat there, staring, munching on whatever it was they were eating, while we talked and ate. It was TOO much! Finally, I was like, "¡Qué?! ¡Puedo le ayudo señor?!" Nothing… Then I realized that maybe he didn't speak Spanish, so in English I was like, "What?! Can I help you mister?!". Still nothing (CREEPY!). Now I was starting to worry that it might get physical. I gave a quick jab into mom's stomach thinking this would definitely freak them out (it works for the teenagers, why not old people?) but they kept on staring. Next, I worked a combo, with a high kick followed immediately by a firm left (MMA style, if you will), figuring intimidation would do the trick. You know, to let them know it was "on". Nada. O-M-G, I am getting all worked up again just THINKING about it! Finally, I had to stop and ask myself "WWJCD?", and realized violence was not the answer. I asked mom to lean over and kindly explain to them that we were having a family night out, just trying to get our Mexican on, and their staring was really bothersome. However, she didn't want to make a scene and neither did my dad, so we basically just sat there, like lions at the zoo, being watched while we ate (DISTURBING!). Don't get me wrong, dinner was still totally tasty, but the dining "experience" left something to be desired.

Sunday : On both Saturday and Sunday, mom thought it would be fun to execute "Wild Wild Nest : Part Deux", so she spent most of both days cleaning again while I floated around and "encouraged" her. The best part of Sunday was, as we cleaned, dad decided it was time to assemble both of my Boppies (EXCITING!). One is a swing (big ups Aunt Em & Uncle Nick) that will swoosh me super fast, and the other is a vibrating seat that plays whimsical music (big ups also kagger's parents!). Isn't that just great?! Dad did all of the assembly downstairs while mom and I cleaned the upstairs, and the most interesting part of the whole process was the noises that emanated from down there. Let me see if I can reenact how each assembly transpired through the use of sound.

First, there was a cardboard tearing sound followed by dad yelling a word I did not understand (BIG PAPER CUT!). Next, there was kind of a whooshing sound followed by a bunch of clanging and some more "loud words" from dad. After that, more clanging while dad apparently talked to himself (don't ask me why), uttering phrases like, "how is that supposed to fit in there?" or "what is the plan here?". Then, there was a clicking sound (like a can opening) followed by 20 minutes of silence (weird, I know). Once the pause was over, more clanging and more "loud words" from dad before he ended by yelling out "FINALLY!!! MER, DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE BOPPY?!" This actually occurred in the same order and manner for both boppies! Go figure! Anyway, I am very excited to take them both for a test drive when I arrive! Here are photos of them to give you a better idea:




Well, that was my weekend! As always, I hope you had a super fantastic weekend as well!

Later…….

SO into:

• Cadbury Eggs
• Rubber Balls
• Burritos
• Ducks

SO not:

• Permanent Markers
• Drooling
• Blockbuster
• Fake Tattoos