Girl, Interrupted.....

*hic* Well, this is just FAN-tastic! I've got the FRICKING *hic* hiccups and I cannot seem to shake them *hic*. How do you get hiccups in the womb *hic* you may ask? Well, *hic*, let me tell you, I don't have the slightest *hic* idea. It could be because mom *hic* ate too fast, consumed something too *hic* hot or too cold, or drank *hic* something carbonated (Diet Mountain Dew anyone? Yes please. *hic*). Whatever, it is totally on her, I cannot possibly take *hic* responsibility for this. I'm just a fetus.

Regardless of how it *hic* happened, here we are! Yippee! And by "yippee" I mean *hic* someone just kill me now! Do you know *hic* how hard it is to dictate my blog to dad *hic* when I don't know when the next one is coming or if *hic* they are ever going to go away? (IRRITATING!) It makes it really hard to *hic* focus, let me tell you. I was going to just skip out *hic* and wait until tomorrow, but it has been a while and *hic* I didn't want you all to get bored, or miss me too much... SAD :(

Dad tried to explain some "home remedies" to me *hic*, but none really seemed appropriate considering my current *hic* location. First he told me to turn upside down and drink *hic* a glass of water, or drink a glass of water *hic* upside down. I can't remember. Either way, it was OBVIOUSLY a terrible *hic* idea! I was like, I'm already upside down *hic* and how EXACTLY am I supposed to get a *hic* glass of water in here?! Next he told me to hold my breath for *hic* ten seconds while simultaneously swallowing. I was like *hic*, "hold my breath?", what do you think I've been doing for the past 8 1/2 months *hic*? I proceeded to ask dad if he had any other *hic* "super fantastic ideas for getting rid of my hiccups", but I think he caught the *hic* sarcasm (I laid it on pretty thick) so that was the end of "suggestion time".

I asked dad to Google *hic* (isn't Google the BEST! SO much information!) hiccups and he said that apparently, *hic* fetal hiccups are quite common and I shouldn't worry. He said they should *hic* go away on their own and not to blame mom. One woman on one particular website *hic* (I make it a policy not to promote websites *hic*, so SORRY unnamed website) said that she found her fetus's hiccups *hic* "entertaining". Yeah, lady, really FRICKING entertaining! *hic* Why don't you go stuff yourself in an extremely tight space *hic*, press your knees tightly against your stomach and your arms against *hic* your head, and *hic* have YOUR diaphragm spasm violently and uncontrollably?! Then, *hic*, call me and tell me how "entertained" you are. Seriously, give me a jingle OK? *hic*

Anyway, I apologize for the *hic* brevity of this posting, but I doubt you enjoyed reading this entry any more than I *hic* have enjoyed writing it. I am really excited for tomorrow (i.e. *hic* the Friday mailbag) as I have many questions that are in dire *hic* need of answering. I will make sure to answer extra questions *hic* to compensate for today's disaster.

Later....... *hic*

SO into:

• Smartwater (Thanks Jennifer A.!!)
• Office Jim
• Powerball
• Hot dogs

SO not:

• Hiccups (DUH!)
• False advertising
• Cobwebs
• Harlow (I think I just threw up in my mouth.)